Shabby Road
by jak981125
Summary: Mystik Spiral takes on Abbey Road an album, not a story, quite possibly a first in fanfic history


SHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
Shabby Road  
By jak981125  
Dedicated in loving memory to George Harrison (1943-2001)  
  
  
I should mention that if you really, REALLY want to enjoy this, you should familiarize yourself with Abbey Road before reading. You don't have to but you'll enjoy it more if you do. Plus Abbey Road is a classic that everyone should hear. Your local library likely has a copy. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Keep in mind, better work than this is on the horizon. If you would prefer the html vervision (which would be my choice because it has a cool picture from Kemical Reaxion) go to http://www.outpost-daria.com/fanfic/shabby_road.html  
  
  
  
SHABBY ROAD---SONG LISTING  
  
1. DeMartino (to the tune of Come Together)  
Lead Singer: Jesse  
  
2. Nothing (to the tune of Something)  
Lead Singer: Nick  
  
3. Maxwell's Silver Teardrops (to the tune of Maxwell's Silver Hammer)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
4. Oh Starling! (to the tune of Oh Darling!)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
5. 1515 Broadway (to the tune of Octopus's Garden)  
Lead Singer: Max  
  
6. The Ballad of Trent and Monique (to the tune of The Ballad of John and Yoko)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
7. Let's Have Some Fun (to the tune of Here Comes the Sun)  
Lead Singer: Nick  
  
8. You Never Listen To Zappa (to the tune of You Never Give Me Your Money)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
9. The Trip Back From Freemont (to the tune of Because)  
Lead Singers: Trent, Max, and Nick  
  
10. Swamp Thing (to the tune of Sun King)  
Lead Singer: Jesse (with Trent and Nick)  
  
11. Mean Col. Mustard (to the tune of Mean Mr. Mustard)  
Lead Singer: Jesse  
  
12. Mrs. Pac Man (to the tune of Polythene Pam)  
Lead Singer: Jesse  
  
13. She Came Into The Spiral Rockshow (to the tune of She Came in Through the Bathroom Window)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
14. Golden Arches (to the tune of Golden Slumbers)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
15. Gain All That Weight (to the tune of Carry That Weight)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
16. My Friends (to the tune of The End)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
17. His Holiness (to the tune of Her Majesty)  
Lead Singer: Trent  
  
  
  
De Martino  
  
Here come old psycho  
He come stomping up angry  
He got huge huge eyeballs  
He one lousy bowler  
He got full blown heart disease  
Teaches all the atheletes  
Till he's weak in the knees  
  
He drives a Yugo  
He ain't got no woman  
He lives in a trailer  
He lives with his mother  
He say "I hate jocks, they hate me"  
Why on earth he's teaching is a mystery to me  
De Martino, why teach  
History?  
  
He got bad temper  
He gets into bar fights  
He fights worse than Upchuck  
He gets injured badly  
He got migranes that would kill a Yak  
Someday he will stroke out and fall flat on his back  
De Martino, why teach  
History?  
  
He got no patience  
He got high blood pressure  
He got banned from Boy Scouts  
He got double vision  
Well it don't take much to make him cry  
Don't take much to figure something wrong with this guy  
De Martino, why teach  
History?  
  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
De Martino, yeah  
  
  
  
Nothing  
  
Nothing in this wretched town  
Is worth another single day here  
Nothing in this town could thrill me  
I'd like to leave Lawndale soon  
I'd rather live on the moon  
  
Nowhere in this two-horse burg  
Is there room for artistic vision  
No one in town understands me   
I'd like to leave Lawndale soon  
I'd rather live on the moon  
  
You're asking me where will I go  
I don't know, I don't know  
I'll join a carnival freak show  
I don't know, I don't know  
  
Nothing in the town of Lawndale  
Will ever really satisfy me  
Nothing in this town is worth it  
I'd like to leave Lawndale soon  
I'd rather live on the moon  
  
  
  
Maxwell's Silver Teardrops  
  
Max was driving late one night on the interstate  
Doing eighty five  
The limit's not that high and he should have kno-o-o-own  
Sgt. Matthew Amerol of the state police patrol  
Sees our friend drive by  
He gives a little sigh as he starts pursui-ui-ui-uit  
But as he's walking up to the car  
Max loses control  
  
Wah! Wah!  
Maxwell's silver teardrops are running down his cheeks  
Wah! Wah!   
Maxell's sobbing so hard that he can barely speak  
  
Two more weeks go by, Max upsets another guy  
During a rock show  
He pokes fun at his 'fro and the dude gets ma-a-a-ad  
Mystik Spiral takes the stage but the man is still enraged  
Max still won't shut up  
So this dude climbs up and attacks the ba-a-a-and  
And as he's grabbing Max by the neck  
The boy can't hold it in  
  
Wah! Wah!  
Maxwell's silver teardrops are running down his cheeks  
Wah! Wah!   
Maxell's sobbing so hard that he can barely speak  
  
Later in the hospital, who shows up but Amerol  
Coming to arrest  
And as I can atest, Max was less than thri-i-i-illed  
Max didn't hesistate, tried to use the fire escape  
Just to get away  
Got trapped there for three days in the freezing co-o-o-old  
At last they saw him stuck way up there  
And guess what that boy did  
  
Wah! Wah!  
Maxwell's silver teardrops are running down his cheeks  
Wah! Wah!   
Maxell's sobbing so hard that he can barely speak  
Criminale man  
  
  
  
Oh Starling!  
  
Nick (speaking in a creepy English accent): Hello Clarice!  
  
Trent (singing): Oh Starling, please believe me  
I want to chew on your arm  
Please don't take it personal  
As I'm from the funny farm  
  
Oh Starling, how you doing?  
Miss your favorite Son of Sam?  
I'm no one's favorite psycho  
Now that Eminem has Stan  
  
When they told me  
That they would track me down some day  
I laughed like a hyena till I cried  
When they told me  
That they would track me down some day  
I thought "Tell that to the guy I just fried"  
  
Oh Starling, I ain't fooling  
I know how scary I am  
My accent's really creepy  
And so is that slurping sound  
(And I eat people)  
  
When they told me  
That they would track me down some day  
I laughed like a hyena till I cried  
When they told me  
That they would track me down some day  
I thought "Tell that to the guy I just fried"  
  
Oh Starling just remember  
I can still scare folks stiff  
Eat your heart out Freddy   
Forget Jason and Michael  
Hannibal Lector is back   
  
  
  
1515 Broadway  
  
Don't want to be  
On MTV  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
All their shows stink, that's what I think  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
I hope the whole nation will see  
How they treat good shows on MTV  
  
Don't want to be  
On MTV  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
  
There's the Real World  
It makes me hurl  
All those whiny kids under one roof  
There's Andy Dick  
He makes me sick  
I never laughed at any of his spoofs  
If their shows don't make you frown  
They cancel good shows like Downtown  
  
Don't want to be  
On MTV  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
  
I saw Undressed  
Was unimpressed  
And Road Rules made me yank my hair and scream   
Soon Daria  
Will say Ta-Ta!  
I'm really hoping this is some bad dream  
I hope the world will join me  
I say we boycott MTV!  
  
Don't want to be  
On MTV  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
At 1515 Broadway in New York  
  
  
  
The Ballad of Trent and Monique  
  
(author's note: I hated "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" and it was a lousy pick for a parody. Please accept this substitution which I came up with a long time before I even thought up this project. By the way, if you are a shipper and insist on reading this next song, prepare to be offended)  
  
Hiding in the back of the Zon club  
This mob of diehard shipper is mad  
They say "Trent you're a creep becasue you're dating Monique  
We think you're making Daria sad!"  
  
These fanatics annoy me  
Some things just weren't meant to be  
The way things are going  
No one will buy our CD  
  
Finally did escape through the backdoor  
Caught a cab and headed downtown  
But it was just my bad luck that the driver spoke up  
He said "You really let you followers down!"  
  
These fanatics annoy me  
Some things just weren't meant to be  
The way things are going  
No one will buy our CD  
  
Finally met Monique at a bus stop  
We went into Ye Olde Pizza Place  
But I just should have know that they won't leave us alone  
Oh man, they never will get out of my face  
  
These fanatics annoy me  
Some things just weren't meant to be  
The way things are going  
No one will buy our CD  
  
Think I'm going crazy with these vicious fans  
They make some joke about a size twelve  
I say live and let love  
You can push but don't shove  
I'LL STILL DO WHATEVER I WANT!  
Yeah!  
  
After we have both finished eating  
Jesse picks us up in the van  
We both fill him in and he flashes a grin  
He says "I really do feel bad for you man!"  
  
These fanatics annoy me  
Some things just weren't meant to be  
The way things are going  
No one will buy our CD  
  
We drop off poor Monique in her driveway  
And as she parts she gives me a kiss  
Then Jesse says "Dude, I've been taking grief too  
They wanna kill me all because of your sis!"  
  
These fanatics annoy me  
Some things just weren't meant to be  
The way things are going  
No one will buy our CD  
The way things are going  
No one will buy our CD  
  
  
  
Let's Have Some Fun  
  
  
Let's have some fun  
Let's have some fun  
And I say it's all good  
  
Little darling, let's chuck some eggs at your dad's Jaguar  
Little darling, let's call your folks and then hang up  
  
Let's have some fun  
Let's have some fun  
And I say it's all good  
  
Little darling, let's scare your mom, say we got married  
Little darling, but let's not try that on your dad  
  
Let's have some fun  
Let's have some fun  
And I say it's all good  
  
Fun, fun, fun all night long  
Fun, fun, fun all night long  
Fun, fun, fun all night long  
Fun, fun, fun all night long  
Fun, fun, fun all night long  
  
Little darling, I don't know why your parents hate me  
Little darling, what did I ever do to them?  
  
Let's have some fun  
Let's have some fun  
And I say it's all good  
  
Let's have some fun  
Let's have some fun  
It's all good  
It's all good  
  
  
  
You Never Listen To Zappa  
  
You never listen to Zappa  
You only listen to the Rolling Stones  
And when you get these fits of pure agression, I back down  
  
You never care about my music  
You only care about the money I don't make  
And in the middle of a confrontation, I back down  
  
Don't need college, feelin' fine  
Get inspired all the time  
Touring in a van with all my friends  
See the country, see the sights  
Charge through all the yellow lights  
Conquering the world with all my friends  
  
But oh, that Mystik feeling  
With all my friends  
Oh, that Mystik feeling  
With all my friends  
With all my friends  
Ah, Ooo, Ah, Ooo, Ah   
  
Make it big  
Holy cow Jesse, you smell worse than pig  
Why don't you go take a bath  
You make me cry, but soon we'll laugh again  
Make it big  
Soon my friend  
Soon my friend  
Soon my friend  
  
Someone dial 911  
That there trucker's got a gun!  
  
  
  
The Trip Back From Freemont  
  
Ah, because the the chili's hot  
It gives us gas  
Because the chili's hot  
  
Ah, because the van windows are stuck  
It stinks in here  
Because the van windows are stuck  
  
Ah, my gosh how, could I tell  
Jesse could, make that smell  
  
Ah, because it will not stop  
We're bailing out!  
Because it will not stop  
  
Ah, ah, ah, ah   
  
  
  
Swamp Thing  
  
Here comes the Swamp Thing  
Here comes the Swamp Thing  
Looks a little greenish  
Shaves with a lawnmower  
Here comes the Swamp Thing  
  
Dos policias estaron enmorados con este pato  
Todos tuvieron que mover a Oahu en Hawii   
El matrimonio fue legal solo alli, mis amigos  
  
  
  
Mean Col. Mustard  
  
  
Mean Colonel Mustard sleeps on a bench,   
Sleeps with a wrench, in the library  
Nearby Mr. Body's asleep, softly Col. Mustard did creep  
Never made so much as a peep  
Such a mean old man  
Such a mean old man  
  
Poor Mrs. White found her boss dead  
Wrench in his head, in the dinning room  
Didn't shed so much as tear, worked for him for nearly twelve years  
Made off with his new chandalier  
Just a stingy dead man  
Stingy dead man  
  
  
  
Mrs. Pac Man  
  
Well you should see Mrs. Pac Man  
She so round looking 'cause she ate too much Spam  
Well she's a big yellow blob with a big mouth and no job  
Yes you should see Mrs. Pac Man  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
  
Seems to think that Orson Welles was a hunk  
She wears a hairbow but she's bald as a monk  
She has a man and a kid, the dumbest thing that she did  
Was to get into a fight with a skunk  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
  
  
  
She Came Into The Spiral Rockshow  
  
She came into the Spiral rockshow  
Because she had a crush me  
She saw a knight in shinning armor  
All my flaws, she refused to see  
  
Didn't anybody tell her  
Didn't anybody see  
Me, I'm just a lazy slacker  
Me and her weren't meant to be  
  
She said she's always been sarcastic  
She had a messed up childhood  
I guess she saw when things got drastic  
As a mate I'd be no darn good  
  
And so she got herself a boyfriend  
A young man by the name of Tom  
And though he had dated my sister  
It was cool cause their love was gone  
  
Didn't anybody tell her  
Didn't anybody see  
Me, I'm just a lazy slacker  
Me and her weren't meant to be  
  
  
  
Golden Arches  
(author's note: this one's dedicated to the McDonald's in my neighborhood that re-opened after many months of re-building, and besides, it seemed like one of the few things that would catch Mystik Spiral's attention)  
  
Once there was a way to get food faster  
Once there was a way to get fast food  
Hush little darling do not squeal  
And I will get you a Happy Meal  
  
Golden arches fill my head  
No more substitutes instead  
Hush little darling do not squeal  
And I will get you a Happy Meal  
  
Once there was a way to get food faster  
Once there was a way to get fast food  
Hush little darling do not squeal  
And I will get you a Happy Meal  
  
  
  
Gain All That Weight  
  
Oy! You're gonna gain all that weight  
Gain all that weight before New Year's  
Oy! You're gonna gain all that weight  
Gain all that weight before New Years  
  
You never give your candles  
You only give me your firecrackers  
And when we lit them inside Jesse's woodshed, it burned down  
  
Oy! You're gonna gain all that weight  
Gain all that weight before New Year's  
Oy! You're gonna gain all that weight  
Gain all that weight before New Years  
  
  
  
My Friends  
  
Oh yeah, alright!  
We gonna watch some Jackie Chan tonight!  
  
Kung Fu! Kung Fu!  
Kung Fu! Kung Fu...  
  
And so my friends  
Our rock and roll  
Comes directly from the soul  
  
  
  
His Holiness  
  
His Holiness's a pretty nice pope  
The only one I've ever known  
His Holiness's a pretty nice pope  
And he rarely sits around in Rome  
He travels the world to see all his people  
Cause I guess he's just a social kind of guy  
His Holiness's a pretty nice pope  
I'm telling you that ain't no lie  
Oh yeah, I'm telling you that ain't no lie  
  
©2001 Joseph Kerner  
  
Disclaimer: There's just too much too disclaim. I make no profit off of this. Please don't sue me. All songs parodied were composed by John Lennon and Paul McCartney except Something and Here Comes the Sun by George Harrison and Octopus's Garden by Ringo Starr.   
  
SHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoadSHABBYRoad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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